Infidelity
Marriage. The term seems to be on a downhill journey of becoming less and less legitimate, less substantial, because there’s always something called a divorce that can clean things up, right? With Plan B ready and waiting, it’s a half-hearted committment to start with. No matter how passionate and dedicated you were when you put the ring on, divorce is a escape chute of relief that guarantees a way out if needed, and with that ready in mind, marriage is… what is it, exactly?
What is marriage if:
Husband and wife have two kids. Kids look up to parents. Mom stays at home and cooks and pampers and dusts, Dad is a business man. Dad isn’t home much, it’s all just so that they can have a nice home and education, but also so that he gets to bang his secretary and visit strip clubs. Yippee.
A) Wife has no idea. Kids have no idea. Dad is preeeetty damn good at keeping his agenda hidden and everything looks fine. Actually everything IS fine. Keeps being “fine.” What is this marriage? It’s a fraud.
B) Kids have no idea. Mom finds out. Mom doesn’t confront Dad because she is scared / she doesn’t want to cause a ruckus. Dad doesn’t know that Mom knows. Dad is “very fine indeed,” Mom looks “fine,” everything is “fine.” What is this marriage? Silent suffering.
C) Mom finds out, Mom confronts Dad. Good for her. Dad isn’t sorry, guys have needs. Mom doesn’t do anything about it because she wants her kids to have a complete family growing up. What kind of fucked up situation is this? Open humilitation.
D) Mom finds out. Basically Mom and Dad come to the conclusion that they don’t love each other anymore. Kids are young, let’s keep thing going. What’s this? A play held at the cemetary.
And there are so many more situations where the superficial concepts of marriage are held in place by thin wires, and this is assuming that the parents care enough about the family to keep it up (that Dad is an asshole but a semi-caring asshole at that), becuase otherwise, there’s always divorce, ya know? By the way, feel free to change the genders, it’s just men seem to like frolicking a lot more.
Marriage is supposed to be so much more. It’s about dedicaiton, sincerity, authenticity, self-control. It’s about keeping your balls in your pants when not around your wife. But she was so hot. It’s about saying no to temptation because there is something called responsibility. But I was drunk. It’s about being smart, avoiding difficult situations, keeping a leash on that second brain. I mean, if that’s too much to handle, DON’T GET MARRIED. YOU’RE A DICK.
Because it’s not a painting where you get to mess up artistically and still call it art, or some game where you get to start over with a full life bar. Every little mistake, every minor deviation is a blow to her trust, a scratch on her heart of human flesh. It hurts. And the scars don’t go away.
And really, how much did it really benefit to be infidel with a person who’s willing to sabotage a marriage. How beautiful is that person, that selfish, cruel, jealous person. A couple rungs down, I’d say?
I just finished watching Love Actually, and when the woman found out her husband cheated on her, it broke my heart. I mean okay, a passionate, slutty young lady seduced him, but he could have said no…… and then that reminded me of scarlett johanson seducing the guy in He’s Just Not That Into You, where he did try to resist but she kept going at it, and voila. Harder to say no to Scarlett I will admit, but still doable. Lucky they had no kids. Ultimately what really gets to me is the kids, the fact that they have to grow up with a family that could have been so whole and complete if their parents didn’t go screw things up, literally.
I know those are movies. But I’ve heard so many real stories, so many stories that just frustrate me and make me wonder why it’s the stupid ones that get hurt. Why the ones that love more are the ones getting stepped on, cheated on, even laughed at. I realize that trust blossoms from marriage but reliability doesn’t necessarily flourish, the flaw that leads to an ugly understanding of infidelity. The truth is that Sam or John or Will is capable of fucking someone else than you, Mary, even though he vowed to love you only, forever, bummer. Life’s so much shorter than forever and that was still too hard.
People can be so selfish. Love can seem so ephemeral - but that means it’s not the real thing, because real love perseveres, commits even when the feeling has unfortunately run out.
